Scorpion (3E)
by Empathise-Much
Summary: Fun with a scorpion in the Holy Land.


I do not own Robin Hood BBC or the characters. Only my own thoughts and that's even questionable.

Knowing something of the loss of a brother-in-arms.

All my works are dedicated to my best mate, (Sasquatch).

I held him as he died.

For where you have gone I have yet to follow.

(Calvin)

* * *

Prologue:

I didn't like how Robin treated his own best mate as the series progressed, so I changed it. Isn't fiction great?

To me from experience they are very close inseparable lifelong best mates, but not gay. Those that think they are have never had a best mate who would protect you, and you him, to the death and have no idea of what I speak of nor the true meaning of love.

Deviations from script;

Much's talking and ignorance is only an act so he doesn't have to fight as he tends to forget not to kill just like his master.

Much survived the Holy Land and fought alongside his master as Robin said in the very first episode. Therefore, he must be at least as good, and knowing how protective he is of his best friend, probably better.

Marian didn't die in the Holy Land, and Djaq and Will returned with Robin and the gang.

Robin does not die but is saved by Much and his alchemist friend.

For some background to my stories please read:

SilasBrandybuck, Mentor and beta reader. You-ll-Be-the-Death-of-Me

Also:

Empathise-Much I-Was-There-When-You-Died

* * *

Scorpion

In the middle of the night Lord Robin wakes to nature's call and quietly as possible gradually pulls back his covers trying not to wake his servant sleeping just a few feet away. While watching for any movement from his childhood companion, he slowly swings his feet off the cot and stands, but the instant his bare feet touch the rug, Much's eyes snap open gazing curiously at him. Sighing quietly in disappointment he motions with his thumb to the rear of the pavilion and watches Much turn over on his back, close his eyes, and hears his servant's breathing even out as he goes back to sleep. By the light of the outside lanterns filtering through the tent fabric, he makes his way to the rear of the pavilion chuckling quietly shaking his head thinking, _We can always tell when the other is awake, so why do we even bother to be quiet?_ After removing the lid to the bucket, he stands filling it sighing with relief while casually gazing around their quarters. Out of the corner of his eye he catches a movement of something small scurrying across the rugs. Keeping the dark intruder in sight as it darts from shadow to shadow, he finishes his objective, recovers himself, and ties his braise. Puzzled, he slowly creeps over to the stationary shadow and getting close enough recognizes it as a large painfully lethal black scorpion. Alarmed, he glances down at his bare feet and carefully steps away.

While keeping an eye on the deadly intruder, Robin quickly glances at the slightly separated tent flaps, shakes his head in disappointment, and holding his breath cautiously steps towards the motionless menace. Positioning himself so he can instantly jump away, he gradually leans down and forwards with fingers ready so as not to cause it alarm and swiftly snatches it by the tail just behind the dangerous stinger rendering it useless. Releasing his breath, he picks up the withering creature and places it on the small old well-worn wooden table next to him holding it in place by its tail. Watching the creature's legs futilely scrape against the wood trying get away, he reaches over and picks up one of the daggers lying on the table, but just before he is about to nail the lethal creature to the table to show Much the importance of why they must always keep their tent flaps tightly closed at night, he looks over at his peacefully slumbering, sometimes foolish servant, and grins mischievously. Holding the tail down firmly against the wood, he uses the dagger to cut off the last segment at the joint rendering the deadly creature mostly harmless. Using the flat side of the blade, he crushes the stinger watching the deadly liquid soak quickly into the dry worn wood. Satisfied, he flicks the still dangerous remains into the night bucket and lays the dagger back on the table. With a sly grin keeping an eye on Much, he pads over to his sleeping friend where he gently places the large, evil looking, benign arachnid on the sheet between his feet. Grinning broadly, he quietly pads over to his cot and lies down covering himself watching the innocuous scorpion gradually make its way up the sheets to the unsuspecting man's exposed chest.

Valiantly refraining from laughing, Robin watches a frown form on his best mate's face as from within his slumber Much gets an eerie feeling of something crawling on him. Immediately startling awake, Much's eyes gape wide in horror at the deadly black scorpion creeping ever so slowly over him opening and closing its sinister looking pincers. Paralyzed, Much stares horrified as the chitinous nightmare steadily crawls from his covers onto his exposed chest feeling each of its thin multiple legs snag against the dense hair on his chest shooting electric chills into his petrified brain. Riveted in place, his gaze fixated upon the multiple eyes of the stationary horror standing on his chest. With his heart racing fit to burst, Much completely loses it shrieking in hysterical fear with utter panic contorting his wide eyed face. Lurching and slapping at himself in fierce desperation trying not to get stung as the black monstrosity clings tightly to his curly chest hair, Much's cot tips over landing him heavily on the ground knocking the horror free where it runs in tight circles with pincers raised viciously striking at him with its inert tail as Much thrashes about trying to fight his way out of his entangling covers. Finally wrestling free, he jumps up then bolts backwards eyes locked on the frightened harmless creature scuttling quickly away from him. Shivering while harshly abrading his chest trying to wipe away the nerve chilling feeling of the deadly scorpion walking on him, Much glances then glares in wide eyed shock at the motionless terror finally noticing that its deadly stinger has been cut off.

Catching a glimpse of movement from his master out of the corner of his eye he turns his head watching as Robin curls up drawing his legs up against his chest wrapping his arms around his knees, his eyes crushed shut with tears streaming down his bright red face, and his body heaving with ragged breaths of nearly silent chest burning laughter. Staring aghast at his master, Much's face turns from fright to fuming as he strides over, grabs Robin by the arm lifting the red faced, unresisting, gasping man up to his feet. Holding his best mate up, Much wraps is arm around Robin's throat holding him close in a half bent over headlock and starts harshly punching him in the stomach with each strike much lighter than before as his anger ultimately turns to tearful laughter. Robin, trying to catch his breath as Much punches him, wraps one arm around his best mate's waist for support while mirthfully slapping him with his open palm on the stomach finally able to laugh heartily along with his blood brother.

* * *

Panic struck out of a deep slumber by a loud blood-curdling scream bursting forth from their General's pavilion, Lord Charles and his servant jolt out of their cots with arms and legs flailing wildly landing harshly on the ground. Immediately jumping up, they swiftly grab their swords, and without thought dash out of their tent sprinting to their friend's quarters expecting the worst.

* * *

Lord Charles along with his servant Warren, barefoot and wearing only their boxer like braise, charge into their General's tent with swords held ready feverishly scanning the pavilion for the anticipated danger. Gazing around not finding anything, they stare curiously at their tearfully laughing friends with Much holding Robin in a loose headlock and both jovially whacking and punching one another with tears streaming down their bright red faces. Charles and Warren gradually lower their weapons and after a puzzled moment Charles calls to them, "We heard a scream, what's going on?" Continuing to laugh, Robin grips Much by the arms levering himself up as his servant releases him from his headlock then turning they calm wiping their eyes staring at their two friends trying not to start laughing again at the confused anxiety imprinted on their faces. Robin subtly nudges his servant with his elbow and breathlessly stutters snickering, "Scor.. Scorpion!" somewhat pointing towards the chair that the petrified creature is trying to hide under. Curious, not understanding what the General said nor seeing what he is pointing to, Warren steps towards the chair to find out. As he does, the scorpion takes that moment to dart out from the shadows directly towards his bare feet causing the solidly built burly Scotsman to take in a loud quick huff of air backpedaling wildly. Lord Charles, with hand outwards quickly calls to him, "Warren STOP!" just as his servant takes a step too far tripping over Much's overturned cot shouting out a high pitched, "OY!" while falling backwards with arms windmilling dropping his sword and landing heavily on his arse then scrambling backwards on hands and feet to the uproarious tearful laughter of his Master and friends.

Standing up red faced, Warren glares at them angrily embarrassed and when he bends over retrieving his sword, he joins in the laughter noticing that the scorpion has no stinger. Shaking his head laughing, Much steps over to the impotent creature, picks it up by the tail, and holds it head high staring at it. Smirking, Much glances sideways at his tearfully laughing master and suddenly flicks it on him laughing mightily as his master bursts out a startled, "OY!" stumbling backwards falling onto his cot trying furiously to wipe the clinging arachnid off his chest, loses his balance, and tumbles over the cot backwards hitting the floor in a graceless heap. As Robin rolls over and stands laughing vengefully, he quickly picks up the poor abused scorpion and flings it right back at Much. Laughing anticipating his master's reaction, Much backhands it away in midair unexpectedly knocking it onto Lord Charles who drops his sword gasping startled and swats the clinging scorpion off of him sending it arching out of the tent opening. Laughing mightily, the four friends suddenly hear a frightened high-pitched shriek from outside, alarmed they rush out of the pavilion and watch as George energetically dances around stomping repeatedly on the unfortunate creature grinding it into the desert sand with his boots.

Smirking, King Richard casts a fatherly gaze over the uneasy, barefooted, war hardened young men wearing only their braise, then at his terrified fuming servant, and looking down, shakes his head at the crushed multicolored viscous remains of the terrifying deadly black scorpion. Chuckling at the strange attraction all young soldiers always seem to have for playing with dangerous things, he turns and strolls back to his pavilion laughing merrily. George, wiping off his boots in the sand, strides off with a single backwards irate glare quickly following his master once more setting off the Lords and their servants to relieved tearful laughter. After a good while of side splitting tearful gaiety the four friends wipe their eyes, slap one another on the back, and with servants following their masters return to their own quarters.

Once inside their pavilion, Much tightly overlaps the tent's flaps, lights a candle, then first cleans and straightens his master's cot and sheets. Once done, with Robin's help, they upright Much's cot cleaning off the paddling and sheets. As Robin lays back down covering himself, Much steps over to the rear of the pavilion, adds to the open bucket and covers it. On his way back, he picks up the candle and walks around the pavilion checking the floor ignoring the quiet sniggering of his master. Once done, he places the candle on the table next to him, blows it out, and lies down on his cot drawing the sheets up to his chin causing his master to snicker again. Ignoring the snickers from his best mate, Much lies awake until he hears his master's breathing even out once more and after waiting a while longer making sure his master is truly asleep, he snickers once, folds back the sheets, closes his eyes, and fades out.

FIN

* * *

(Not that anyone would ever do something like this to their best mate…)


End file.
